Daycares and TikTok
Safe Spaces
Remember when the term safe space was a bad phrase in conservative circles? Perhaps it still is and I live blissfully unaware, which could easily be the case. Now I would argue the pinnacle of safe space circulation was around 2016-2017. It was something plenty of people were talking about from both sides of the political isle. Perhaps this is seared into my brain due to the president of my own Alma Mater gaining national attention through his writing on the subject. 1 (This also sparked many conversations I had with people when I traveled about going to the “daycare” school for several years).
But what are safe spaces, and why talk about it? Well the first reason I bring attention is due to the varied ways this is understood. Of course there is a way of looking at the term that desires to avoid speech or terms that “trigger” the hearer. There is also a way of using the term to describe spaces for people that are marginalized or disenfranchised in some way. Both of these ways of looking at the term also have been used most widely in the context of the university. There are some issues with the way our culture has looked at terms such as safe spaces. I think that Katherine Ho from a Harvard opinion piece does a good job of pointing out the issue;
Failing to consider the manifold meanings of the term also inhibits constructive dialogue about safe spaces. Most people understand the value of protecting disagreeable ideas in a classroom, and they appreciate the existence of cultural groups and organizations like OSAPR on campus. But in a dorm or house, what should be the priority—courteousness or freedom of discussion? I would argue the latter should reign supreme in an academic institution like Harvard. But it is impossible to have a meaningful discussion on how “safe spaces” should be implemented if people are referring to different concepts when they use that term. 2
So what are safe spaces? It is truly hard to say, but I think that the idea has one more fundamental flaw in the way it has been presented. Almost always, the term is used when discussing either what someone hears in a particular setting, or establishing a space that is inherently meant for a person who would be a minority in some other setting. In most ways these safe spaces have a one sided nature to them. As I enter into a space it is all about what I receive, or what is given to me. And although some would argue that this is good and necessary in certain settings, I believe that society needs a different kind of safe space.
Deconstruction
This brings me to another rabbit hole. Deconstruction. This, along with safe spaces, is a loaded term. Something that sends fear into the hearts of people from various backgrounds and traditions. This has also been a term that has circulated a lot in recent years, although its nothing new. In fact I first remember hearing the term in a podcast all the way back around 2017. 3 (Perhaps this is why Safe Spaces and Deconstruction are so closely linked in my brain?).
The idea can mean a few different things. For some deconstruction is about not only abandoning your faith or former beliefs, but also dismantling them. For others deconstruction is something you do in a process of rebuilding or owning your beliefs. And this is a scary thing. It can be scary to question or doubt your beliefs, and scarier for those who passed down those beliefs in the first place.
Unfortunately, due to the nature of this fear, people on all sides are forced to confront these things in secret. Although the internet has begun to change that. The biggest example of the internet shaping the deconstruction I have seen has to be on TikTok. On TikTok you have people making videos from all sorts of religious perspectives and positions. Everyone ranging from former youth group attendees to pastors have made videos, and people are congregating around these people and discussing what they believe or what they thought they believed. 4
This makes some people angry. They rail against social media and the effects it has on forcing deconstruction and making people question their faith. The only emotion I have is a certain sadness. I am sad because there are many churches out there that don’t seem to be places where people can bring their doubts and struggles into conversations with other people.
The Tension Between Faith and Doubt
“So what?” I hear you say. Maybe this isn’t a concern to everyone. Perhaps the idea of questioning belief is something you haven’t wrestled with or sympathize with. Well I think that churches should be places where people can come and be honest about the things they are wrestling with and the things they question. Not safe spaces like we’ve seen, but places where dialogue and honesty are welcomed and treated with care. We are given two options. One is to ignore or suppress the questions and doubt. To ostracize those who struggle or don’t fall in line. The other option is to sit with one another. Listen to what people have to say. To make a place where people can navigate their belief in wholistic way. But which road is the right one to travel down? Personally, I believe that the latter option is the better one and the one for the church.
Jesus made bold claims about who he was, what he was doing, and what was to come. It is true that Jesus praised a childlike faith. It is true that he confronted those who did not believe. But Jesus also allowed for questions. He knew what he was saying would be hard for some. Perhaps this is at its peak after his resurrection. He did what he said he would! But not everyone was on board. The Apostles could have relied on Jesus’s teaching and the word of Mary and the women at the tomb, but they didn’t. They had doubts and questions. So Jesus makes an appearance to them, but it wouldn’t be the last time this scenario played out.
Thomas, for whatever reason, wasn’t there when Jesus revealed himself to the other ten. And Thomas took his doubt to another level. He wanted more than to just hear Jesus or see him. Thomas wanted to feel Jesus’s wounds. He wanted empirical evidence.
Again, Jesus met his need, but it was eight days later (20:26), and they were still hiding behind closed doors, possibly still afraid (so Carson), though the reason they were in the same place was that they had remained for the weeklong Festival of Unleavened Bread. Mary needed the voice of the Good Shepherd; the Ten needed to see him. Now, Thomas needed to touch him, and as with the others, Jesus accommodated him. Can you imagine the scene? As in 20:19, Jesus miraculously came through the closed door and offered messianic peace. Then he said, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side” (20:27). This is an extraordinary scene, with Jesus pulling back his robe to show the gaping wounds. There is no record that Thomas actually touched the wounds. It is doubtful he would have needed to at this point. Then Jesus exhorted Thomas, “Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!” Thomas had demonstrated that his faith was the lowest of them all. 5
It is easy to look at Doubting Thomas as an argument that Christians today should have an unwavering faith. “See! We shouldn’t be like Thomas.” I, however, think that this scene is a bit more complicated than that. Jesus goes on to say, “Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.” 6 Jesus is commending the kind of faith that will be required of future believers, he is also making it clear that faith and belief will intersect with what he will task the Apostles with. To spread the Good News and to tend to a new flock. Osborne goes on to say;
Jesus drew a comparison with those yet to find faith—namely those who would not have the benefit of seeing the risen Lord—and gave future believers a special blessing from God because they would find faith without the incredible experience of physically seeing the risen Lord. This is the second beatitude in John (cf. 13:17), and interestingly both occur in contexts of admonition. The four episodes leading to belief in chapter 20 have been accompanied by the word “seen” (20:8, 18, 20, 27), but future believers would not have that privilege. Theirs would be a faith engendered by the Good News, and this is perhaps the major theme of the fourth Gospel—the encounter with God in Jesus forces a faith-decision, and that decision brings life. That is the greatest blessing of all. As Peter says so well, “You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls” (1 Pet 1:8–9). 7
Does this mean that Jesus believed that no one else would have doubts? Does this mean that Thomas was the final target for Jesus so he could go on his way and leave the church with a new wave of believers that never had questions or struggles? Of course not! Jesus tasked the Apostles to care for those who were once like themselves. To hold true to the Good News, but to do so with patience. They needed to understand that future Christ followers would not be afforded the same luxuries that they would when it came to questions and doubt.
What Can I Do?
But I’m not an apostle. I wasn’t there. What is Jesus trying to tell me? I think that although those things are true. We are called to be Christlike. Sometimes this means engaging with those who doubt. It means hearing the questions and concerns, whatever they may be. Being slow to speak, and humble when you do so.
Would someone feel safe coming to you with doubt? Do you feel like people hesitate to confide in you? Or do you work in an environment that is prone to create silos and keep secrets? I doubt all these things would be true, but we must start with ourselves before we look to the faults of others. We must be able to create an atmosphere of honesty first before we can change the spaces around us. One of my favorite writers of all time is Henri Nouwen. A quote of his that has always stood out to me is this;
Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines. 8
This is what we can do now. Jesus not only made space for those who were enemies, but laid down his life for them. He not only tolerated those who didn’t understand or believe, but he broke bread with them. We are told to do likewise. We are called to be like Christ. Not only with those who it’s easy to be love like Christ, but more importantly with those who it is hard to love. The church, if it is called to be the Body, should exhibit this kind of hospitality. The spaces that I create in my personal relationships should be ones that are safe, and reflect those of Jesus. Like Nouwen says, “Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place.”
I believe that we have confused the way we look at space and relationships. We want others to change, and have made them enemies, all before they have even entered into our space. We want people to meet us where we are at, in every way we can define.
Ultimately Jesus died to solve this problem. He entered into earthly space. Died for those who where enemies towards him. And he reconciled humanity and brought together divine and earthly space, so that we could follow Him into this new space of heaven on earth. His Kingdom that is a space that is safe from all sin and death, and we can truly know Him. But we must also begin to believe and act like The Kingdom is present here and now, and give people the same space to wrestle that Jesus did.
(Svrluga, College president: 'this is not a day care. this is a university!' 2021)
(Ho, Tackling the term: What is a safe space? 2021)
(Battles, EP 6 "The bible" part 2 W/ Tim Mackie of the bible project 2017)
(Roden, Lonely no more: Questioning Christians find belonging on Tiktok 2021)
Grant Osborne, Philip W. Comfort, Cornerstone Biblical Commentary, Vol 13: John and 1, 2, and 3 John (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2007), 291.
New American Standard Bible: 1995 Update (La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation, 1995), Jn 20:29.
Grant Osborne, Philip W. Comfort, Cornerstone Biblical Commentary, Vol 13: John and 1, 2, and 3 John (Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, 2007), 292.
M., Nouwen Henri J. 1996. Reaching out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. Fount.
Battles, Ryan. 2017. “EP 6 ‘The Bible’ Part 2 W/ Tim Mackie of the Bible Project.” The Deconstructionists Podcast. September 11. https://thedeconstructionists.com/ep-6-the-bible-part-2-w-tim-mackie-of-the-bible-project/.
Ho, Katherine. 2021. “Tackling the Term: What Is a Safe Space?” Tackling the Term: What Is a Safe Space? January 19. https://harvardpolitics.com/what-is-a-safe-space/.
M., Nouwen Henri J. 1996. Reaching out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. Fount.
Roden, Renée. 2021. “Lonely No More: Questioning Christians Find Belonging on Tiktok.” Religion News Service. July 27. https://religionnews.com/2021/07/27/i-never-had-an-inkling-about-this-how-tiktok-is-fostering-community-among-questioning-christians/.
Svrluga, Susan. 2021. “College President: 'This Is Not a Day Care. This Is a University!'.” The Washington Post. WP Company. October 27. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/11/30/college-president-rejects-safe-spaces-writing-this-is-not-a-day-care-this-is-a-university/.